Hooked on Coffee? Do Any of These Sound Familiar?
You know you are addicted to coffee if …
by Vic Shayne, PhD
Before you make coffee you stick your nose deep into the bag of beans and inhale with orgasmic delight.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You bleed coffee.
You name your children Robusto and Arabica.
The only time you can stand still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze, sleep, pray and kiss.
You chew on other people’s fingernails.
You don’t know what it’s like to stand up quickly without blacking out.
You feel like having a cup of coffee following your afternoon tea.
You don’t sweat, you percolate.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
You plan your dessert menu based on what goes well with coffee.
You spend countless hours pondering a good name for your own coffee shop.
Instant coffee takes too long.
The image on your favorite coffee cup is worn off.
You help your dog chase its tail.
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
When someone offers you tea you laugh out of control, as if tea is a real drink.
You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
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